you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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