If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
