shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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