It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
