Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
