i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
