She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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