did you get engaged???
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
