Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
