names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
