Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
