And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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