THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
