3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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