Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
