wake up i wanna do it froggy style
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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