I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
