GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
