Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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