I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
