Ambien. No doubt about it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
