This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
