There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
