I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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