every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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