I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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