He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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