How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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