It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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