Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize