I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
