How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
