Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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