yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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