what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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