You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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