Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
