I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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