State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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