it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
