I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
