Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
