they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
