we're blogging at a bar
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Drunk is not a location!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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