I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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