Cold hands, warm shart.
one two three fourrrrnication!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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