in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
