A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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