Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize