She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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