I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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