I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
