belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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