they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
