I heard we made out
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
