If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she pinky promised me she was 18
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
