Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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