Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
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That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
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she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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