sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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