covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
