Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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