I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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