I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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