Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
