My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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